Yesterday was really a different day … visited coach in the afternoon with yawen … have pretty enjoyable time … coach is friendly and all which makes me quite relax and happy at her house … just that GUINESS, the dog, keeps licking my thigh!!! Yuck … but otherwise I have somehow pass the phobia of dogs I think … hehe!
But the vocal point yesterday was not the visit … but about something related to friendship …
Well today, in front of Wesley Methodist Church I thought about the whole episode … and I come up with some views … sorry if the my view don’t coincide with yours … this is just something I thought makes sense … lets keep the whole entry a relaxing and an open-minded one okay?
Yesterday, a friend of mine (lets name him/her : PETER … coz I don’t have any friends whose name is Peter) voice out a few concerns … peter is really having a difficult period of his life … being a student … he got many expectants from his teachers and friends etc ... but that is beside the point.
He voices out 2 concerns that I want to tackle today:
attention
work load stress
seriously speaking I think many youth today faces this kind of concerns … well I do know of a person who went through that – myself.
Many of the times you see your friends being praised … ‘excited’ upon by your other friends … then you feel dejected that no one bothers to actually notice you and get ‘excited’ upon … then you wonder … “what’s wrong with me? Why cant I be appreciated too? I really want the attention too … why then no one, not even my close friends do that for me?” some ppl will relate this problem to the problem of popularity and all … but I think that is not only the case, no doubt it feels super good to be quoted the best … to be always surrounded my friends who literally “idolized” you and all … the feeling is good … it makes one feel superior to some extent and also an ego-booster …
So, I always complained to myself … why cant my friends spend much of their attention on me? The question keep pondering me … is it coz I’m not talented enough? Not worth noticing? Not intelligent enough? Not gd-looking enough?
I literally give up … I tell myself not to force my friends to like me and all … then I realized that hey … my friends actually DO praise and stand in awe of me sometimes …
All these times, I was just blinded by envy …
Some things my friends say that are quite unnoticeable to me:
“waah steph … your hand is so smooth!”
“wow! I cant even think of that … you are so good in this man”
“you got long legs!”
“nice bag / top / hair pin etc …”
“you are in smu!”
if it is last time … I would just think that these are just passing remarks … but actually they do have meanings …
then there are my other friends who never really get excited or whatsoever in front of me … but I was pretty shocked when I know that some of my friends’ families do talk about me and all …
so peter, don’t you see … the feeling is good to be praised … everyone knows that … but sometimes perhaps you just got to stand back … and just enjoy the company of your good friends … many of us tell our parents about our day in school everyday over dinner or on the way home … and guess what!? My day in school of course revolve around my friends and also academics matter … you are really not forgotten …
sometimes also, there are friends who actually care for one another yet they don’t speak much … just like how old couples love each other dearly yet they do not specifically say I LOVE YOU everyday … because saying too much of the phrase makes it no longer significant …
just want to tell you … that your friends really care … and I hope the knowledge of that makes you feel more at ease …
work load stress … another headache … this one cannot be helped … everyone went through this … so much things … so much expectations … so much pressure … so much responsibility …
I thought about this too … and I conclude that … since I have taken the responsibility … I shall do my best … if my work in unsatisfactory … I will redo amidst the upset that I need to redo it again … one way to make the whole experience better is really to actually accept the challenge and enjoy the challenge! Treat the hurdle as a lesson learnt … at least at the end of it … you will feel a sense of satisfaction … achievement … that you did your best!
I wont deny that sometimes I still yanked non stop bout work load stress … but I find yanking away is a way for me to actually say out all my worries … and when I said out everything … I look at the work needed to be done and realized “ hey actually is quite manageable.” The whole pictures seems so much clearer then ..
I wont deny also that sometimes I still feel envious of my friends who I really think are damn smart, damn cool, damn perfect … but is only short term feelings .. coz I’m clear wat are my fortes too! And I do rmb what my friends praise me for last time … so share around the praising la … don’t be too selfish and want it for yourself only … I also start this regime to praise others more … in a way I’m trying to inculcate a praising-trend among my friends .. and hey it works! They praise me more for even the simplest thing (:
I feel good .. they feel good!
My writing may not make much sense … but the bottom line is I think you should do a little soul searching … appreciated the things that are happening around you … appreciate life as it is (:
Hope you will feel better after knowing that you are not alone facing this trouble ….
Please smile again …again …
